Things you Never Want to Hear a Homeowner Say to You

1. “This House Pretty Much Survived the Explosion.”

Yes, houses do blow up. Some by gas. Some by fires. Others by meth
labs. It’s that last one that should raise a red flag.

2. “The Neighbor Was Released from Prison Yesterday”

Your response to this question should be, “Oh, so…what did he do?”
Even if it runs along the gamut of white-collar crime [you know,
embezzlement or extortion or tax evasion], nobody wants to live next
door to a criminal. Be careful.

3. “Cars Only Drive Fast Down This Road in the Evening”

The operative word, of course, is ONLY. The rest of the time the road
is mild. Perhaps there’s the rare Monte Carlo that zips down the road
and doesn’t make the turn and ends up in your yard…but no worries.
That ONLY happens once a year.

4. “Those Homeowners Back There Just Sold to a Guy Who’s Going to
Build Some Apartments”

Hear that sound? It’s the sound of property values dropping. Fast.
Run. For. Your. Life.

5. “The Basement Gets Damp When It Rains”

Translated: “Water levels reach about to my knees when it rains…but
it’s all gone within a day or two.”

6. ”I Think Somebody Died in the Bathroom”

Drug overdose? Murder? Natural death? Help me here. HOW they died is
just as important as THAT they died. Though the creepy factor still
remains.

7. “My Husband Got Busted Growing Pot in That Room”

The follow up statement from the homeowner might resemble a fumbling
recovery, something like, “My eyes. My eyes. I have really bad
cataracts. The marijuana helped me…not that I smoke it any more.”

8. “Michael Jackson Was Born Here”

Or, insert any famous, historical person. If that’s the case, you’re
likely to get a lot of unwelcomed visitors pausing in front of the
house to take pictures or snooping in the backyard or peeping through
a window. At least that’s what a potential buyer is probably thinking.

9. “You’ll Be Close to the Airport”

Wonderful, if you’re a commercial pilot. Everyone else, welcome to
Camp Insomnia.

10. “Sure, The House Is Settling a Little”

Will it settle more? Maybe. Maybe not. Are you certain about
everything in life? Have a little fun. Live large. Take life by the
horns. Seize the day. Live over abandoned mine shafts. Besides, it’s a
great topic for cocktail conversations.


-From Disarmed.